It has been a few months since I last posted here – a traumatic time in hospital enduring heart bypass surgery and then more lost time in the aftermath, enduring physical shock and emotional stress.
The effort it is taking to pull myself out of this quagmire is exhausting but the other day, while listening to a medical lecture detailing the bypass procedure it suddenly dawned on me that my heart was actually suffering a huge trauma. It had been taken out of my body and placed in some type of mechanised apparatus whilst the repair to the arteries was being done. Up until this lecture I had avoided all information about the surgery because it was so threatening, but as I sat there, no longer able to avoid the details, I felt the tears welling up. I recognised that my heart was still suffering from this invasion. At long last I understood what I was actually feeling. The centre of love and intelligence within in my physical body was still recovering from the traumatic disturbance. This was why I – and so many others – felt this emotional pain.
The people at Heart Math, and any reader of the book The Heart’s Code will have a complete understanding the heart’s intelligence, and I feel it is vital to the understanding of our physical awareness that we acknowledge the magnificence of our heart. In all my exercises and meditations to reach the inner planes of consciousness my prime movement has always been to drop down into my heart, and to feel the love springing up from this area. I must admit though, since the operation I have struggled to meditate, or to even reach my heart centre sometimes but sitting there listening to this medical explanation it all started to make sense.
As I realised the importance of this I tried to explain to the lecturer why so many people suffer such emotional upheaval after bypass surgery, but she simply smiled politely and continued with her talk. It would seem that a large section of the medical fraternity still does not realise this hidden yet powerful function of the human heart.
As I write this now I am trying to regain contact with my heart. I feel incredibly stupid for taking so long to realise why I am suffering, but the simple act of writing this down feels good and if I can regain the intimacy I used to have with this vital intelligence, I will have found myself again.