Beyond Identity

Jurgen Ziewe – – is another person making this journey beyond identity. I listened to an interview he did with Rick Archer of Buddha at the Gas Pump fame, and most of what he was describing I too am experiencing, except that Jurgen has taken a further immense and supreme leap towards transformation – something we need to understand fully.

To begin, he spoke about how he used to be dissatisfied with mediation. In a weird way I felt a deep relief. I was thankful for his honesty. This was because I too changed my focus when mediation was not giving me the expanse I was seeking. These days I simply go into a state where I make contact with ‘A Presence’. I even know that this sacred, wise and divine presence is my Higher Self. The phenomena I first knew as the All Pervading Intelligence all those years ago, is indeed my higher self (Soul). Jurgen Ziewe seems to have a similar experience and although he is much  further along on his journey, his profound occurrences seemed to have taken place over a time period similar to mine – around forty years. Again,  I find this helpful. We all need to know, or be reassured that we are on the right path.

It was during a recent experience, as he moved into a vital, very important state of being, that Jurgen began to feel really fearful.  He had gone into retreat and in this isolation he began to understand he was facing the knowledge that soon he would lose his identity. Knowing this, as the abyss opened up, he was afraid to enter. Afterwards, as his meditative state faded, Jurgen felt ashamed because of what he perceived as cowardice. The thing that he had been working towards all his life, had been offered but he had backed away in fear. This fear is so understandable. Many seekers speak about the challengers faced as they move towards enlightenment. Anyway, very gradually Jurgen was guided toward merging into this new state.  It seems that he is now living in the same type of reality as Susan Segal  (and many others).  The ego has gone and with it any awareness of identity.

I found Jurgen Ziewe’s commentary profoundly helpful because I am just on the outside of such an experience. There is a full understanding of what is involved but I guess I have to do it my way. For instance, during my pondering today, as I thought about Jurgen’s experience, I found myself facing a door in my heart. It was open and I could see out beyond the entrance but all there was, was space. I was looking at eternity and I could feel how dangerous this was. To step out into nothing, into eternity, would annihilate me. It was the perfect image for loss of self, loss of identity, loss of all that I know as an ego. I looked out into this emptiness and knew what others mean when they talk about the abyss. But using Jurgen’s experience,  as a helpful guide eased him into his new state, I feel perhaps – once I get the courage to step out into eternity – that I too will be guided, that I will not die or disappear; that it won’t be the frightful experience I am fearing as I contemplate my next step.

Another insight has just been triggered by Jurgen Ziewe’s conversation with Rick Archer. I now realise that my visualisations are equivalent insights gained in the out of the body experiences. I don’t know how many people have these intuitive insights which, through visualisation provide a metaphor which give’s vital information that had been locked away behind one’s mental barrier. Listening to both William Buhlman and Jurgen when they explain that their explorations of other realms – as they move through their OBE – gives them understanding via what appears to be a real event, but is in fact a living metaphor, tells me our guidance is very similar. My visualisations have always given me enormous insight. The newest one – the door in my heart for instance – is a metaphor for entering the emptiness of loss of self.

The insight given us by Jurgen Ziewe and others assures us that ego death is not the end of one’s life in this reality. I think this knowledge is profoundly important for the ones following in such esteemed footsteps. Without doubt, more and more of us are reaching out towards this pinnacle; a phenomena I believe is living proof of the change humanity is now experiencing.





Susan’s Legacy

To continue on from my last blog, examining the remarkable writing of  Susan Segal.

Susan’s experience is so unusual, so mind-bending, that I feel it is crucial information if we are seeking to understand how we process our awareness of who we are and how we function in this illusion we know as existence. She speaks of ‘the witness’ which is an internal aspect, often overlooked or ignored by many but which is a necessary part of who we are. We are not talking here about the cruel voice in one’s head; that harping demand insisting we are useless, that we should do better and not to be so stupid.  No! that ugliness is our conditioned response gone haywire and should be shut down as soon as possible. The witness Susan writes about is an awareness that seems to sit outside our daily exploits, observing but not interfering. It sits inside all of us, though many remain unaware of its existence. In my case I find it very hard to separate my daily functions from what I am really doing deep inside so I’m constantly aware of my witness. She is a full partner in my world. In Susan’s case a vital change took place when her witness moved beyond the zone of her physicality. Suddenly she felt it was observing her day to day activities from outside her body and although the intelligence of the body continued to run her physical life, from her ego/mind perspective Susan was panic stricken by this split. She felt out of control. Indeed, it felt so serious she was sure that without this witness she would not be able to continue living. Of course, as she did, nevertheless she was terrified.

This idea, that without our witness’s interaction we would cease to function, is staggering, but from my viewpoint, understandable for I feel sure that all our thoughts and actions are in lock-step with our witness. Such an entity might be just observing but obviously it is some type of support mechanism. So does this mean that in some way the mind must be the servant of the witness? This felt very strange to me. For somebody to believe they needed their witness in order to maintain existence is a huge statement. It tells us that the ego/mind actually knows it is not in control. Was this phenomena strictly Susan’s experience or does this apply to all of us? It hard to say, but in my own case, I am not sure how I would react if suddenly this very familiar entity suddenly moved beyond my reality.

Examining Susan’s account a little further we can itemize 3 powerful events.

  • Her witness moved out of the body-mind complex.
  • When her witness totally disappeared, Susan lost her identity.
  • Through an extraordinary awareness, Susan discovered she was moving through herself, in other words, she was the world.

The first 2 events have given us an astounding insight into how we might function. It appears that the ego-mind needs the security of the witness to be able to maintain an identity in this dimension. Though this is profound, I am not sure how many people are aware of this part of the self that oversees the life being led in this dimension. Perhaps some people reading this will question such an idea but I think the vast majority of us are quite aware of our witness. I first bumped up against my witness when I started to explore my own creativity. I was completing a degree in Ceramic Design, and the demands of the course opened up a hidden part of me. That’s when I became aware of being watched from within. It was not judgmental, nor was it is sympathetic; this witness simply observed all that I was doing – and still does! These days I am reassured and comforted by this presence, so I can understand how fearful Susan was when suddenly her witness moved beyond her daily movements.

The second huge event was when the witness disappeared from Susan’s life altogether. This is when all awareness of having an identity disappeared. This is remarkable on many levels. That her witness would disappear is amazing in itself, and immediately makes us question the stability of our own state. Although I am aware of my witness, I have not explored its inclination or its purpose. In Susan’s case when it vanished she became free of her identity, free of all the conditioning, free of ego. She found she was functioning inside her greater self and felt the oneness of the whole. Obviously, once the identity goes then the awareness of who we really are can begin to seep into our being. It is dawning on me that maybe the ego/mind needs the security of the witness to be able to maintain it identity. When the witness goes this world we know suddenly changes! Staggering!

Once again, the idea of ceasing to exist is before us. But no in a fearful way. For Susan, once she was able live without the constrains of an identity, she expanded to such a degree that one day as she drove down the road she realised that she was driving through herself! What an enormous revelation! To be able to feel and understand that she was the world. In today’s society such a transformation is what many of us are seeking, but who knows how or when this phenomenon will occur? When Lester Levinson broke through the dream-state of the ego/mind, time and space changed and he was able to see what his friend was doing thousands of miles away. This is a quote from his biography:….. as he looked his body seemed small and distant sitting in its chair. He could see it there if he chose, but he felt himself spread across the entire universe; that body was only an infinitesimal speck in the vastness that he was. He was omnipresent There was no travel, only a thought, and he was there – end of quote.

Over the centuries many have made this powerful transition;  many have been able to move past the limitations of this reality. It depends on our mental structure – how the mind functions. If we can work with consciousness so it flows through the electro-chemical impediment holding us in the dream we must eventually escape.

This is the legacy Susan Segal left us.


















What Is Identity


I am reading Susan Segal’s writing again. I know I have blogged about this before but her story is a revelation, offering us information we all need at this time. She tells of when she became detached from her physical functions meaning she found herself permanently outside her mind – similar to the time I popped out of my body and watched myself drinking coffee. Of course I quickly scurried back into my mind…whoever ‘I’ is? But Susan never did.

Here is a quote from her writing: There was the sense of being on an edge of sorts, a boundary between existing and not existing, and the mind believed that if it did not maintain the thought of existence, existence itself would cease. Charged with this apparently life-or-death directive, the mind struggled to hold that thought, only to exhaust itself after several fitful hours. The mind was in agony as it tried valiantly to make sense of something it could never comprehend, and the body responded to the anguish of the mind by locking itself into survival mode, adrenaline pumping, senses fine-tuned, finding and responding to the threat of annihilation in every moment…  end quote.

I am asking – what/who was the mind that was in such agony? Does she mean the ego was in agony, but then how do we separate the mind from the ego, are they not the same thing? This is a living example of the existence of other parts of the ‘self’, parts that are separate from the body/mind! The fact that the mind/ego thinks that it is the awareness that keeps us living is a powerful indicator of the complexity of our existence as a physical being so it is obvious that Susan’s experience and her ability to put it on paper is a wonderful lesson, proving that most of us know very little about this life we are living.

After a few months of Susan witnessing her own movements through life, her witness disappeared. This was when Susan’s identity also disappeared. Here we have another crucial lesson. One’s identity is fully attached to one’s mental awareness, and this is what we think life is!  We obey this physical mind; the thing churning out thoughts; the thing reinforcing the ego’s mastery over existence; the thing limiting us to a programmed belief system; the thing directing all thoughts and emotion: we believe that this is who we are. When nobody was left to witness this mental process Susan lost her identity. But she did not die. She did not go mad. She was still able to function as a human being, she simply did not have an identity. Her fear was enormous because the physical mind was screaming for answers. This tells us that even if our identity disappears, there is still a physical, functioning mind and in Susan’s case, that was terrified. I am very aware of this physical intelligence. I have built in fears that come up when there is the smallest threat to my physical well being. Usually I’m able to calm this panic by reminding myself that I am much more than a body, nevertheless the initial reaction of terror causes all sorts of physical trauma. The fact I am able to calm my body fits in well with Susan’s description of a witness standing outside the physical intelligence.

Eventually, after years of panic, Susan moved into another state of being. This was when she discovered that she was ‘Everything’. She was not a singular identity – that had disappeared; she was not her body, that too had been overridden. No, she was something else altogether! Her full understanding fell into place one day as she drove through the woods. It must have an amazing revelation for her as she realized that she was driving through herself. This is so profound I am only able to grasp the edges of her realization.

This is what Susan eventually wrote: Quote – I am the Infinite–no personal reference point–the substance of everything; I am the Vastness that is everyone and everything. And, I must add here, never for a moment does the awareness of that Infinite substance that is everything ever move out of the foreground of awareness whether there is waking, dreaming or sleeping states of consciousness occurring in the circuitry. There is no where for it to go. Where could it go? It is constant, every moment experience…….. There was a shift from no personal self, no “me,” to seeing that this experience of no personal self was actually the substance of everything. That is when the springtime began with the quality of joyfulness to it. What I can describe about what is being experienced currently, is residing in the Infinite within which the Infinite resides. There is no end point in all this. We are talking about the Vastness. It is very large. It continues to show Itself and show Itself.